Avoiding

So I’ve been avoiding writing anything because I just feel uncomfortable about talking about it. Ya know “it.” It consumes my every moment but yet, I’m afraid if I say it out loud and something happens again that it will be MORE devastating. I went through some panic last week with the ickies subsiding and instead I felt like I had a tape worm (not that I’ve had one so I’m only assuming). I couldn’t eat enough and my breasts didn’t hurt as much. So I thought for sure it’s dooms day. But then slowly I’ve begun to feel ick again. So tomorrow is the 10-week appt and I just hope all is well with the bean. I pray all is well. We need it to be okay. I’m exhausted.